its only yours

Time:

10:05 pm.

down*ward

fuckin

spiral

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE

I NEED CALIFORNIA RIGHT NOW...

Time:

5:21 pm.

for some reason
i have this deep down
feeling that no one likes me
right now
it jus came about all of a sudden
like. iuno
maybe its cuz im away from
everyone and iuno
what to do
cuz i havnet been attatched to anyone
and hav to leav them behine

i hope thats not the case
really
i dont want it to be at all

pats not texin me bak n that
kinda worres me
cuz well..he always does
iuno

i over think the little things

and... i. well
like him
love him
miss him

Time:

7:20 pm.

im hella fallin for this fool
a highschool sweetheart??
never thought they would last
cuz ive seen so many fall apart
i always question if imma
leave him for the single life again
but when i see him smile
and kiss him..
that questionin all goes away
and there are only 4 words that flow through
my mind
"i fell for him"
hard...but it was him
i fell for
so its alright heheh
but when i was layin on him
and him rubbin my side
i looked up...
he smile
i smiled...
we smile together and kissed
it wasnt like that lil peck..
it was the kind where he hold your chin
and keeps you there
and when your about to let go
he presses harder against you..but its still soft
thats how i describe bliss with that boy
knowing hes there

shit...i <3 him
hella more then i thought
i ever would
this is so weird to me
but im not freaking
out as much as i thought
i would be if this happend
err..when it happened

Time:

6:36 pm.

ugh so im hella sick right now
not fun at all
i hope i dont like
miss any school cuz of it
cuz i dont wanna not see
the boo!!! gosh
hehehe. but i really
do want to get better
cuz i dont like being sick
unless i kno i can stay home
and not worrie about work or something

ne m the boo are doing good
its so wonderful, honestly
i heart that kid sooo friggin much
its unbelivable
i kno that if anythin happened
between us it would hella break my heart
i remember when i said i didnt wanna talk anymore
i was crying while i was sayin it
and thats jus talkin
so iuno what imma be lik
if we break up...
ugh. lets jus not say that we are
hahaha

but hes the best thing ever right now
hella everything
that makes me smile
and happy
we can turn our days from bad to good
with jus one smile
and a kiss
everything is better again

Time:

11:20 am.

what can i say about lately. things have truly changed. i found that boy that makes me want to smile 24/7 and not even care if my cheeks hurt. the one that makes me want to hug and jus be around all the time. the one that makes me want attention and not get bored of us jus being there together doing nothing at all. jus layin down and cuddling under the covers when its cold out side. damn it. ive grown so much. the ones that kno how i am with boys kno this is a big deal. its so different then how i was when i 1st got into high school. i thought i was gunna love being fee and doing whatever i want. but now i love being aroudn him. close to him. jus with him period. even though we've only been together for 4 days, it feels like its been forever, and then not even that long at the same time. we've been talkin for close to 3 months, and on holloween day we made it final. hes the boo. he even met my parents. the one boy that i bring over b4 its been months on in when im going out. and my parents like him. and when my sister said something about him i stuck up for him. and thats going against my sisters opinion. something that i always listen to. damn it. i like him so much. hes my boo..my favorite ever. my wiggles. my prince charming...my happyness. i havent been this happy and felt this cute while being with a guy for hella long
sorry for rambling though
ill stop now
but you all get how im feeling

eye heart patrick b. sherman. <3

Time:

10:37 pm.

today was hella much fun. after school me and emily droped off lauren (my fav slut face! hehehehe) and then went to taco bell. i brought pat a kids meal hahaha. cuz i knew he wanted something. n then after that n we all watched tv for like an hour me n pat started to tickle one another.ugh it was hella cute. you had to be there. we were actin like little ass kids. he would lay on me and tickle me!! ewww. i hate being tickled but i still had a smile on my face the whole time. he was hella laughin too. it was the most ive ever seen him smile. comparing last night to that. wow. he hella did a 180*. but im glad cuz i was there the whoel time. he deserves to have a smile on his face the whole time. n i even told him that. ugh. today was jus so great. i guess you had to be there to understand. =]

but im still confused as fuck!

Time:	7:03 pm.
Mood:	confused.
Music:	acceptance - over you.

dont even kno what the FUCK is going on. tasha..you ko what im talkin about & genny..you will soon find out. well..jus read on. haha.

i like that fool so much n i can feel my self pushin that away so i wont gt to close. i feel like sayin "it was nice while it lasted" but hes in to deep to jus say that and move on ya kno. more feelings are going out w/ him then i give. i like him hella much, but hes not my everything. like i am his. i feel like an ass cuz im tellin him this but not knoin what i really want. but i need to say it. not jus to my girls, but to him. he needs to kno. he has a right. im slippin bak into the set of mind that i was once in. this is why i never get involved w/ ne one in that manner. i over think shit so much that i kill my self to death.

i kno i can talk to tasha and genny cuz they wont say a word.
i want to talk to emily too but i kno she wont keep it in
like i love her, but yea..you kno whats up
but my girls wil always be ones to kno
whats up with me and my life.. specialy the "love" kind

this is killin me. i kno when i talk about this. it sgunna be done in like a weeek. n...iuno. i dont want it to be but i feel hella unfair to lead this on like that. me thinkin about it. but he knows. i dont wanan skrew with him. cuz it hurts me to see him sad like he was today.

things will work out.
right??

Time:

9:18 pm.

i like him so much that its gross

and i love my girls sooo much!!!!!
they aer honestly the best ever.
and i question why i never hung out with them b4
well this much
thanks for everything!!

im fallin for him
bad
head over heals kinda shit
and...
im not running away

am i growing up?!?

Time:

8:13 pm.

today was jus darling
honestly darling

but when people talk to him
about me he always says that
hes not sure if i like him
and that bothers me
but i rather jus not say anything
i do like him
so much
i guess its jus him sayin im perfect
and the best there is
and...i dont say it back
i told him its hard for me
and he understood
but i think it still hurt him
when i said it
we'll see
i kno that if we dont put a title on us
then it'll last for longer
then it would if we did say we were going out
i wnat to tell him all of this so bad
but...i dont kno
i jus cant
its sooo hard for me to open up
and jus say whats going on
but i honestly care about him so much

its crazy! hehe

yes....
im 100% ba*jiggity...
plus like a million and infinity. haha

i feel sick
i hope im not gettin it again
that would jus not be fun at all

Time:

7:46 pm.

okay so today was a lonley day kinda
emmie wasnt there cuz shes hella sick
like over the top sick
and Pat went home early cuz he wasnt feeling well
the 2 people i care about
and i got them sick
hehe. oh well
they will jus get stronger about it
for sure

i like him so much
but we jus wont ask one another out
we both kno we feel the same
but...jus... i dont kno
i dont want to go out
cuz it ruins things when im with them like that
so i want to stay...how we are
jus like this
cute... =)
when someone ask's us that again
imma bring it up and talk to him about it
cuz i kno its really akward
so..yeah
jus to get it outta the way.
cuz i dont want him to feel hurt
when i say no...and have no reason as to why

imma be talkin about him alot
I ADORE HIM SOOOO MUCH
hehe ok. im done

other then that, today was alright
same ol thing
weird ass weather
but its raining so im HELLA happy
i looooove gloomy weather
perfect time for the skarf
and yeahi need more
and yes i love th em
and they love me, bitchs

im done <3 love love

Time:

5:44 pm.

he makes me so happy
never thought i would be takin to him
like this..the way we are
but we are
and it makes me soooo incredibly
amazinly happy
when i hug..i fit
right there...
ars, heads..
everything

no we're not head over heals
at least i hope not
cuz thats scary
and pushes me away
even though i kno im happy with him
but goodness!!
you dont even kno haha

but im not taken
im jus...reserved in a way
but can sweet be to sweet some times??
the constant lines
of the back and forth "your the best"
be a real conversation?
i dont even kno
i guess both of us
need to reasure one another
thats what it is...i hope
i think.. =(

but right now i kno im happy with him
no ones perfect
and im not wantin that
not now..
not EVER!
i dont want to marry mr. perfect
he has to have flaws
cuz i sure have my own...

i want to fast forward my life by 5 years
jus to see where im at
who im with
whats going on in my life

i hope all is wel <333

Time:

9:16 pm.

i doubt
and then i dont
gosh!! im so confusing
its bull shit if you ask me
hahha
im startin to have a sence
of likeing to him
he makes me happy
i fit in his arms
like.. you kno when it jus feels right
thats how it is
i can always find a spot to rest my head
ugh. iuno
i jus hate over thinkin it
or thinkin to much into it
me and him say the same things
over and over to one another
and iuno hwo to get away
like i want to get away
from cute and get to kno him

thats the thing that bothers!
gurrr. hehe

i jus hope it all works out
for the best
and...yeah <3

Time:

3:05 pm.

everytime i watch this movie
i feel what he feels
where hes comeing from
im like him but not as
...proud?
i dont kno the word
but when its all said and done
i wish i had someone to call my own
someone right by my side
someone i can watch something like this
call up and reasure my self
that hes still here for me
and that im not alone in the worl
like the movie makes me feel
it puts it all so clear
what can happen
like they say...
you never mean to hurt anyone
but you do
i guess i dont play the feild fair
i talk to someone
then jus cut everything lose
like it was nothing
as they are still tryin to hold on

theres only one person i think of when
i watch this movie
he has a girlfriend
and that makes it all that
much mor real
when i talk to someone
and then its done
cuz i break it off
and then i see them talkin,going out
with someone else
i realize how much i liked them
after the fact of things
i guess i put my self out there
to make me miss them
and hurt in the end
not like them though
no
theirs are all on the heart
mine... mine is all on memorie
when i look bak to them
i remember how good i had it
them... they knew right then and there
while it was happening
i guess i make my self seem
more up there then i really am
my mind is aiming to high
for my heart to follow
i guess im not as special
as i thought i would be
and i honestly need that
kind of reasurance daily.
but. i kno i dont have it
and i wont for a while
....i guess it all works out
for the best...

i guess

Time:

2:02 am.

ok. so i really jus woke up
from a long ass nap that i jus passed
out on the couch from. and i have nothing to do
thats bull shit for sure
haha. but oh well. it'll be alright
imma go to this family thing 2morrow
goodness. save me
but it should be fine.
i love my family and its good
to see them every now and again like this. =)
makes me happy
and hella calm for a while
gets me to get away from things

me and her arent friends
i told this to her
be proud..be proud
we do still talk. but i dont tell her
anything and she doesnt talk to me
about shit
so she can lie to both boys
and not be caught
good job, dumb shit
so yay for her i guess
well for her shes hapy
but im jus scared for the boys still
yikes

i dont kno what to do
about him
about me.
about "me and him"
ahh!! this is stopid crazy
im not changing my ways
well not all of it
as of right now
but im still gunna be doing
what i always do
so i dont think its a bid deal
we're not going out
so its all kosher. haha
i lik that word
ok im rambling

love love <3

Time:

7:18 am.

Everytime i dont think about someone for hella long
they get in contact with me
and make me miss them hella much
like unbelivable
thats how im feeling right now
ive had so many dreams about him
and they are all him comeing back home
and me running and jumping on him
cuz he makes me so happy
and he really does
i miss that about him
alot
and how we go half and half on everything
nothing is tryin to look cute anymore
and thats how it should be
i love him
i really do.
but not in the undying way
jus...love
hes always been there for me
and im here for him
but its so hard when hes far away
to jus call up and tlak to him
cuz i want him to be here...
i want him to come home!
i care so much for him...
and i always will <3

Time:

6:00 pm.

haha he hella gave up
tryin to talk to me about being grounded
"suposively" was the awsom word about it
he knows that im not listening
jus stop tryin
honestly
i find this really funny
i wish i did this alot soner
but its jus the fact that they blame
shit on my friends that hella kill me
whatever. they dont kno shit
so its all gravy..

thers a new exchange student
hes from germany
i have 3 classes with him and he
is now my friend
haha. hella funny
and verry adorible if you ask me
i forgot his name though
but its so awsome to hear him speek german
and trukish
and some asian talk
but an awsome kid all arond if you ask me

damn i really dont kno what to do
i like him
and he makes me hella happy and smile
but.. its jus...
i dont want to ge tinto it
iguess thats what talkin is for right?
i think so for sure
but then.. i like this other guy
that doesnt mean so much..
the first one.. ug! he make sme smile lik
there is no tomorrow.
and i hella fit in his arms.. and his side when we walk
and its not like this akward stepping
its perfect
well no tperfect
but you nko what i mean
i never thought i would be
likeing HIm of all people!

great things.. great things <3

Advertisement